Regina King says she still feels 'guilt' at times after her son's death: 'The sadness will never go away'

King said on “GMA” that her son's “decision” in 2022 to end his life is “hard for other people to accept because they… haven't experienced Ian's journey.”

Regina King opens up about her grief journey — and the legacy of her son Ian Alexander Jr., two years after his death.

In a sit-down interview with Robin Roberts that aired in full on Thursday Good morning AmericaThe Shirley Star admitted that to this day she “sometimes feels a lot of guilt.”

“When a parent loses a child, you still ask yourself, 'What could I have done so that this wouldn't have happened?' ” said King, 53.

Ian died by suicide in January 2022, shortly after his 26th birthday. He is King's only child, whom she shared with her ex-husband Ian Alexander Sr., a record producer.

Related: Regina King says she's a 'different person' now, two years after son's death: 'Grief is a journey'

Since his death, King has had “the time to just come to terms with Ian’s decision” – and now “I respect and understand that he didn’t want to be here anymore. And that's hard for other people to accept because “I haven't experienced our experience, I haven't experienced Ian's journey,” she told Roberts, 63.

“It is It's important to me to honor Ian the totality of who he is – I speak about him in the present because he is always with me. And the joy and happiness he gave to all of us,” she also said.

The Oscar winner spoke specifically about depression, saying, “People expect it to look a certain way and they expect it to look hard,” but noted that this isn't always the case.

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Separately, King told Roberts that she was initially “so angry at God” after her son's death and asked, “Why should Ian be given this weight?”

“Of all the things we've been through with therapy, psychiatrists and programs, and Ian said, 'I'm tired of talking, Mom,'” she said.

The If Beale Street could talk Star went on to say that “being Ian's mother” is her “favorite thing to do” – and she “can't say that with a smile, with tears, with all the emotions that come with it” if she doesn't “respect that.” Trip.”

Of the moments when she still feels her son's physical presence, King said, “Sometimes it triggers laughter – most of the time, like lately, it triggers a smile. But sometimes his absence is really loud.”

ABC News

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Related: Regina King Honors Late Son Ian Alexander Jr., One Year After His Death: 'My Mission Statement'

King said she is “a different person now” than she was before Ian's death and that she now understands that “grief is a journey” and “love has no place to go.”

“I know I share this sadness with everyone, but no one else is Ian’s mother. Just me. And so she is mine, and the sadness will never go away. She will always be with me,” she continued later in the interview.

The actress added, “And I think I saw somewhere, 'The sadness is a reminder of how much he means to me,' you know? Happy sadness.”

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, texting “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or going to 988lifeline.org .

If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.

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